Rejection in and of itself has a negative effect on the life of any individual who battles with it. What does it mean to reject? To reject is to refuse to accept, to throw back, to refuse to consider, or to spew out. Rejection can leave you feeling heartbroken, unworthy, and defeated.
My first experience with rejection was at the tender age of 15. I was rejected by someone I held close to my heart, my father. The thing is, it wasn't anything that he did on purpose. I got pregnant, it broke his heart, and he shut me out; which broke my heart. For a young girl whose first love was her father, it was devastating.
Psalms 144:1-2 "May the LORD, my rock, be praised, who trains my hands for battle and my fingers for warfare. He is my faithful love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in Him;" (HCSB)
My experience with rejection might be completely different from yours. Your experience might have been with a boyfriend, a church, a friend, or even a co-worker. While my father was and still is a part of my life, your father may have been absent or unreliable. The spirit of rejection can attack us at any age at any point in our lives under any circumstance. It can come in the form of unrequited love, gossip, abuse, being pushed away or betrayal. All of these actions by people in our lives can cause us to feel rejected in some shape, form, or fashion. No matter how it comes, it hurts. It somehow changes us because it affects us both mentally and emotionally. Rejection increases feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, and even depression. One incident can trigger a cascade of emotions that causes an altered perception of self. Another incident can lead to unwise decision-making, which can take a lifetime to get over. If these emotional and mental scars are not unpacked and sorted, it can cause us to project our pain onto others which leads to an unending cycle of counterproductive relationships. Even after all we know about rejection, the question remains, how do we overcome rejection? How do we deal with rejection? How do we move past rejection?
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
We must first acknowledge our feelings not hide behind them. Acknowledge the hurt and disappointment you feel. Know that it's okay to feel the way that you feel. It's okay to cry. And it's okay to tell the people who caused you to feel rejected how you feel. Many times they don't know unless you tell them. What's worse is that sometimes telling them doesn't make it better when there is no sense of acknowledgment of your hurt. When they don't care, that multiplies the pain you feel. However, when a sincere apology is given, it can aid your healing process. The point is whether or not the other party acknowledges your feelings, don't let that stop you from moving toward healing and embracing the healing process. Where there is healing, there is growth and renewal. Acknowledge what you feel and get to the root of the problem. If you don't get that seed of rejection out of your heart, it will grow and fester into hate. That's not what we want. That's not what God wants for you!
PRAYER
Psalms 144:1 says God trains our hands for battle. Where is it that we fight our battles? It's in prayer. Prayer is where you begin to fight for your life. Prayer is where you find rest when you're weary. Prayer is where you find comfort when you lack peace. Prayer is where you battle the spirit of rejection. Your pain. Your loneliness. Your anxiety. Your depression. Your hopelessness. I remember when I was trying to figure out how to deal with life, I would ask some of the women at church what to do. They would always say, "Just pray about it." I'd be thinking, "What the hell am I supposed to pray?" I had no idea what to say to God! I'm going to give you a hint...something I wasn't taught back then. It's as simple as laying all of your feelings out there before the Lord. If you're tired, disappointed, angry, fed up, or even upset because you feel like He allowed pain to fall upon you, tell Him that. There's this saying, "To thine own self be true." Yes, be true to yourself, but most importantly, be honest before the Lord. He knows you better than you know yourself anyway. Lay it out there. And then ask Him to come in and do something with it. That healing you need is something only He can do anyway. There are not enough drugs, alcohol, sex, or shopping you can do to take that deeply rooted pain away. Only God can dig it up by the root and dispose of it for you. It's not anything you can do on your own.
That seed of rejection grows and then evolves into other emotions and decisions far worse than rejection itself. If you're facing it right now, dealt with it in the past, or watching a loved one go through it, encourage yourself in the Lord and face it head-on. Don't let that seed grow. If you don't believe in prayer, seek out a therapist or someone you can trust to talk to.
As always, it is my prayer that you've been blessed by this reading. Let's walk in love and healing together. I love you and God loves you too!
Your sister in healing,
Robin T. Terry